This might be a touchy topic but it’s something that recently happened in my family - what do you do if your stepkid(s) calls you mom?
I grew up with a step-mom and I made the decision as a twelve year old that I wanted to call her Mom. Now, this put me in an uncomfortable position. My mother didn’t want me referring to her as my Mom. I remember feeling torn, feeling pulled in two different directions due to a sense of loyalty to the woman who I’d know as mom all my life. My step-mom never asked me to call her anything other than her name but she was a mom to me.
When I was at her house - she was the mom. I’ve called her Mom ever since and my mother has adjusted to the situation. It took some adjusting for all of us.
So - fast forward to now: I have two sweet step-kids and one of them has referred to me as Mom a handful of times. I’ll admit - I loved it when my step-daughter would say it. One of my favorite moments was at my bridal shower and everyone went around the room introducing themselves and saying how they knew me. It was my step-daughter’s turn and she said her name and told everyone that I was her mommy. My heart felt so full because I love that little girl like she is my own. But I can understand why it would be hard for her mother to hear her refer to me as mom.
My husband and I have made it very clear to the kids that they can call me whatever makes them feel comfortable. Their bio-mom has other feelings about this topic and it caused a little bit of drama.
She chose to put a lot of emphasis on this issue and it was hard to watch my step-daughter be put in the middle of this, like I was many years ago. Her poor little heart didn’t quite understand why she can’t refer to me as Mom when I am the mother figure at our house.
So what is the right thing to do in this situation?
I think it’s going to be different for everybody. But my husband I decided to continue to tell the kids the same thing: they can call me whatever makes them feel comfortable. We know they’ll be asked questions about it at their other house but we’re standing strong in our decision.
If this happens in your blended family situation - remember to focus on the kids. What is going to be best for them? What is going to take the most pressure off of them? They love all of their parents and the most important thing should be making them feel comfortable and supported by all of their parents.
Has this happened in your house? Let me know what you decided, step-mommas!