A Stepmom Confession

Life in our house has been a little crazier lately. This summer we have had the kids 5 days a week because our daughter went to school where bio-mom lives. We live about an hour apart from each other. It’s been a fun time and we love having both kids around more.


So what’s the hard part? The hard part is the drama and the instability that is swirling around us right now because of the kids’ bio-mom. You don’t need specifics, I’m sure lots of you can relate. But the two days that we don’t have the kids are usually filled with text messages from bio-mom about what hard thing she’s currently dealing with.

This week, we got the kids back early. YUP. I have two days to myself and to work on my business. Two days that I schedule meetings and appointments on and I lost one of them. It goes without saying that I’m always happy to be around the kids but this threw a huge wrench into my very carefully scheduled work time.

Here’s my confession: it made me mad. I was frustrated that I had to try to get last minute childcare and fail. It made me mad that the kids came home extra emotional and fragile from what they were dealing with at their other house. Not mad at the kids but at the situation.

Can you relate?

My day has gone a lot differently than I planned but I’m trying to to not show it. To maintain our house as a place of normality. A place of regularity. A place where the kids can feel at home and comfortable. A place where they can share their feelings and know that it’s okay to be confused about why they lost a day with their mom. A place where they know it’s safe to tell me that they miss her and want to be with her.

It’s okay to feel all of those things.

It’s okay for me to feel frustrated. It’s okay for me to work a little extra today while the kids watch some extra TV.

Being a stepmom is a rough road and one that most of us have to figure out as we go. One that doesn’t have a roadmap or a lot of street signs. But it’s worth it for the kids that are in the back of the car, the ones that need our love and our patience.